After climbing mount Everest's snowy peaks with a soup spoon and plastic turtle I can safely say that I have accomplished much while away from the Godly Haven dubbed Deviant Art. The mission first started after two weeks of lazyness where my visiting of DA did not seem necessary. This lazyness, spurred onwards by a short attention span, led me away from this Haven I call home and into the wilderness, facing me with many impossible challenges I will never forget.
After finding an orange cherry-stuffed rainbow farting unicorn hidden in a marshmellow cave at the peak of mount Everest I rode her to narnia where I married the attractive prince and bitch-slapped the beavers. After defeating the evil mermaid people with a sword made out of lady gaga's meat suit I got a divorce (he was getting old) and continued into fairyland where I ate through a thick wall of chocolate and caramel to save the fairy king and his people. Whilst there I also won the fairy Olympics, built a giant slide made out of jelly beans, married a sexy fairy prince, ate my weight in ice-cream and bred my orange rainbow farting unicorn with a griffon to create a super-species that I called Bruce. There are many Bruce's, you can have one.
It was only after all this, as I was watching the sunset over a lake full of attractive shirtless underwater men, sitting on a Bruce, and eating ice-cream, that I felt this emptiness engulf me. No matter how far I travel, or how much I accomplish, the Godly Haven Deviant Art will always be my home.
I started weeping at my own foolishness. After only two weeks of not speaking I had ventured out into the unknown world, filled with mystic and magic, afraid to go back to the Godly Haven because of the fear that no one would understand why I left. Even I hadn't a clue. Upon this realisation I thought whether people would expect me back? With my short attention span and off-beat humour? Will they ever love me again? Bruce swore and cussed loudly (which is the only sound Bruce's can make), 'idiot dick fuck!' he announced loudly.
'You really think so?' I asked him tentatively
'mother of a horse-manure sniffing goose kicking shit head.' he nodded
Slowly but surely my mind set itself into a conclusion. I rode back to the castle, and left a note on the pillow next to my Prince's extremely sexysexysexysexy head.
It's true, I was scared. But I was also prepared to take this fear and put it aside. I still don't know why I left Deviant Art, and I don't know whether I will be welcomed back. It is true, I may return lonely and an outcast, but this is the place where I belong. And I am ready to let it take my soul again.
I rode my trusty Bruce to the edge of fairyland and then carefully dismounted.
'You're a stinking idiot' Bruce cried
'I'll miss you too.' I said with heart.
Now as I enter this realm again my mind is set. I have returned to the Godly Haven Deviant Art not expecting anyone, but at the same time hoping everyone is here.
I will contribute myself with art and time. Always ready to talk, and always not-waiting to be spoken too and barging in on random peoples conversations. I will comment wildly on great art, and just as wildly on great people.
Please accept my sincerest apologies.
No matter how amazing the real world is, my soul was always here.
Love always RedHeart
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- hahah ohmaigod can't believe I just wrote all that, too much pizza. well I really did miss you guys and I thought it wouldn't be a 'RedHeart' return if I didn't do something crazy with it. So here it is, my lifestory of the past five months . . . completely insane. You have to trust me though when I say the prince was hot, like SMOKING hot. I've got pictures hurrr hurrr jokes.
If you want a Bruce just ask, they breed like rabbits. Just be prepared though, they like insulting people.